Ebb and Flow People

 

Daily something is revealed to me that helps me realize that I know nothing about how the world works and that I know increasingly less about myself, and my place in this world. This feeling of minuteness is nothing new to me, yet this time something is at peace inside me, and I may be finally accepting the fact that I am small, and that I am naive. It feels so good knowing this and being okay with it; don't get me wrong, I want to improve it, change it and grow, but now I am comfortable that it takes time. I am growing patient with myself, and learning to love learning. Its all okay. There is no one more beautiful than yourself. Its not deep, its not even smart, but its me experiencing life for me. . . Not just reading about others experiences and empathic with them throughout the "feet in another's shoes" philosophy.
The ebb and flow of life amazes me. Working at Jason's Deli more than 6 months now, it becomes so easy to get attached to people. This summer Jason's has become my home. I've been working more than 40 hours a week, and these people have become my family. The managers are my big brothers, and fathers. My coworkers are my sisters and brothers. I love them each so dearly. My twin sister works with me, so of course we fight all the time (you know the bickering that lasts 10 mins and the next thing you know we are laughing our heads off together). We've had people come and go, and each time its so difficult, some times being harder than others. Adrian, Jen, Kevin, KC, and many others who I cannot even think of have left since I began in January. Well, the people who came in to replace them are moving on now too, and I have grown to love them so much. I want to scream "Its not fair! Why does life have to always be changing!?" Jason is moving on to the University store, Mike is moving up at our store. I am happy, I guess, that Mike is staying, but I really would rather have Jason stay. Nick is finished with his training and is going back to his store in Huntersville at the end of the week when Jason leaves. It's going to be so different. As employees we are all going off to our pre-summer lives. Elsa is off to Chapel Hill, Clay and Lex are off to Appalachian State, and I am going to Queens University right down the road from Jason's so I don't have to leave, but it is difficult. You know these guys go through so much; Jason began as a delivery driver here in Charlotte, then some where in the story became a catering manager at a Jason's in Raleigh where he met Nick who was a driver going to NC State, and then came here to Charlotte where he began as a manager, and Nick about a month ago came to train at our Jason’s and is leaving to go back to Huntersville, and Jason is going to University. These guys have been all over. I don't know how they keep uprooting and moving. I know its not that far, but still. You'd never know how much certain people mean to you, until they leave. I don't know why I have such a problem with people leaving and saying goodbye. I know good things continue to happen; if Adrian hadn't have left then Jason couldn't have come. I just get content with life and don't want it to change.
All I can do is pray that I get to run into them later in life, or get to build new relationships with them all over again later.

Dear Jason, Dad, Teachers, and Ebb and Flow People,
I can't even begin to describe the fun, the laughs, and the games we had so much fun playing. I have learned so much from our relationships. The finger prints you left on my life will always remain evident and will continuously be apart of who I am and who I am ever developing into. I hope that somewhere down your dusty, bumpy path of life my own path may have the pleasure of colliding into it. I love you, and desire you to know how very much your life means to mine.
Forever and ever know that you have made a difference in my life. Your life is indescribable important. Your every breath is beautiful to me.
Love,
Hannah

Playing on My Ipod:

1.) Awakening
Sara Groves
2.) All these things That I’ve Done
The Killers
3.) Sailing
Christopher Cross
4.) Who I Am
Jessica Andrews
5.) Walk Tall
John Mellencamp
6.)What a Wonderful World
Kenny G & Louis Armstrong
7.)Tears in Heaven
Eric Clapton
8.)Let it Be
John Denver
9.) Sing Mary Sing
Jennifer Knapp
10.) Mother Father
Dave Matthews Band
11.) I Hear the Bells
Mike Doughty
12.)Twilight
Vanessa Carlton
13.) When I Look To The Sky
Train
14.)Hang On
Guster
15.)The Candy Man
Sammy Davis Jr.
16.) Chicago
Sufjan Stevens